When the news broke that a group had formed to try and put a slots casino in Gettysburg, I knew I couldn’t sit idly by. I had to make my voice heard. I had to stand up for what I think is right. I had to join the cause.

I had to do everything in my power to make the plan become a reality.
Yes, I intend to lead the pro-slots coalition until we win the fight. We’ll take on this responsibility one quarter at a time.

I know this might not make me popular in some circles. I’m OK with that. Because if people oppose slots, they have to understand that there is another side of the story.

We want our free drinks. We want our metal-stained fingers. We want our cherries and bars and progressive jackpots.

At first glance, one might think that I have a gambling problem. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

I haven’t gambled in more than five months when I visited Atlantic City for a night. That night, for the first time in my handful of visits to casinos, I lost. For the record, I didn’t even touch a slot machine. I prefer blackjack when I’m flushing my money down the toilet.

But after I lost, I didn’t hock my car. I didn’t max out my credit cards. I didn’t keep trying to win my money back.

I just went home with less money than I brought.

To me, that’s the great thing about gambling. You can lose yourself in a whole different world for a while. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.

I can’t wait for that different world to come to Gettysburg. I hate that I’ll have to wait a few years to see if it actually happens.

I don’t need slots. But I want them. There’s a big difference.

If you need slots, you also need help. I feel horrible for people who have had their lives devastated by gambling, but I honestly believe that if we got rid of everything that devastated lives, we wouldn’t have much fun in this world.

That’s why I want slots for people like me, people who enjoy a little gaming once in a while. I wouldn’t head out to Gettysburg for slots a lot, but I would definitely pay the “resort” a visit once in a while.

I lied about the last time I gambled. I last visited a casino five months ago, but I gambled just the other day. In fact, I did it at the convenience store down the street from my house.

I bought a lottery ticket. And I had a chance to gamble at a church, but Basket Bingo isn’t my bag.

Yeah, comparing Basket Bingo to slot machines might not be completely accurate, but neither is painting one potential slot parlor as the end of social decency as we know it, like some people will try to do in the coming months.

I can’t wait for slots. I know that everybody doesn’t feel that way, but some of us do just like the diversion. I can’t wait to throw down a few quarters, buy dinner in the restaurant there and come home happy, win or lose. I’ll be there the day they open.

You can bet on that.