I often think I missed my calling. Writing should be a hobby, not my main profession. The confirmation of that fact came this past week as television networks released their fall schedules. Television needs me in charge of things.

You sometimes hear about the drug problem in entertainment and the schedules clearly reflected the depth of that problem.

I know I have what it takes to replace the people in charge of planning the schedules. I don’t need some fancy degree from film school or an extensive marketing background.

Through diligent research, I have compiled a mental database of what works and what doesn’t. The warm blue glow of the television has instilled me with supernatural powers.

That has to trump the drug-addled brains of today’s executives.

Before I delve into the error of their ways, I do have to give some credit. “Arrested Development” will return for a third season.

But the fact that this was even in question shows just how badly Hollywood needs my help.

You would think executives would do everything in their power to support a show that wins multiple major awards and gets heaps of praise from the critics.

But this is an industry where multiple networks passed on “Desperate Housewives.”

In all reality, I shouldn’t get this up in arms with the decisions for the upcoming season. After all, we have a TiVo and multiple DVD players.

I don’t need network TV, but it has a hold on me. Like a crazy ex-girlfriend, I just can’t cut myself off completely. She has something that I find alluring, but she always knows how to mess it up and drive me crazy.

That’s what NBC has done with “Scrubs,” one of the top shows on TV.

They renewed the show, but won’t put it on in the beginning of the upcoming season. A solid performer for four seasons, “Scrubs” will wait in the wings until something else fails.

How stupid is that?

If I ran the networks, I’d make sure that a show with a decent audience would remain on TV for as long as possible.

Except for those reality shows. Haven’t people had enough of “real” people showing the worst side of humanity an hour at a time?

I understood the reality concept at first, but things have to run their course at some point. Isn’t it clear that most of these people do the things they do just to get attention?

Similarly, I really like knowing that people with lots of money and connections are willing to help those less fortunate, but do we have to see it on TV?

In my head, I know I could do a better job than the people running TV. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m completely out of touch, which isn’t too hard to believe since I only watch one of the top 20 rated shows.

No, that can’t possibly be it. The executives are on drugs and the audiences are wrong. That’s the only explanation.