I love this time of year. We get that extra hour of sunshine. The sun is out, but it’s not too hot. The winds are just right. The perfect weather for me to not work on my golf game.

I’m really excited because I think this is the year that I don’t play golf better than ever before. I really feel inspired when I think about not picking up a club.

I just worry about my wife because she’s the one that suffers. With me not playing all this golf, she has to put up with me around the house. She deserves a life like other wives, who get a respite from their husbands on the weekend.

Things always haven’t been this way. There once was a time where I braved the elements, got my fanny off the couch and actually went to a golf course once in a while.

Things weren’t very pretty. I have the eye-hand coordination of a preschooler and the attention span of … oh, look, something shiny.

Anyway, my attempts to play golf left me with a sour taste in my mouth. Not only did I frustrate myself, but other golfers seemed bothered that I hadn’t quite reached their skill level.

That was one of my least favorite parts about golfing. If you didn’t immerse yourself in it, some people really looked down on you. I really didn’t enjoy the peer pressure. I don’t care what anyone says. It’s funny when you swing and miss. Even the tenth time in one day.

The only people who do peer pressure better than golfers nowadays are the poker players. They have turned playing a fun game of cards into a test of who knows more lingo and has watched more poker on ESPN. A guy once made fun of me online because I didn’t bet “by the book.” Never mind that I was beating him.

Anyway, I also have a totally different outlook on the sport than others. I know I’m not Tiger Woods so I’m going to get my money’s worth when I go golfing. Forget all that lowest score garbage. I’m going to hit the ball as many times as possible if they’re going to charge me that much.

That’s the proper golf economics to me. I pay less per shot than some poor sap bragging about how many birdies and pars he managed to record.

I also feel like I have a better understanding of the whole course than someone shooting in the 80s. When he hits the ball, it flies in the air over some beautiful green grass. I make sure mine skids and skips about 50 yards away so I can inspect as much of the fairway as possible.

But those days are over. I have put close to 10 years now into not golfing and feel I am really ready to reach my prime.

In that time, I have perfected my couch sitting, my sleeping in and my peanut eating. I just might be ready to go pro.

With some of the things ESPN shows, I wouldn’t put it past them to have a couch potato competition. My time has come.