The time to Christmas shop has almost arrived. Yes, I know some people have already started. A select few crazies have even wrapped up their shopping. That’s just crazy.

Christmas shopping should not begin until we finish with Thanksgiving. I don’t see how anyone can really focus on buying presents without suffering through a tryptophan coma.

Now don’t take this as an endorsement for waking up at an ungodly hour the day after Thanksgiving and fighting with some other crazy person over the last Elmo doll.

Christmas shopping shouldn’t really start until the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Especially since the NFL Network will now show a football game on Thanksgiving night. How can you get up at 4:30 a.m. when you watched football until midnight?

Friday is for recovering from the gluttony of Thursday, watching the recording of about Grey’s Anatomy (the only show I watch on Thursday which is not a rerun on Thanksgiving) and falling asleep in front of the TV with college football on.

There’s no time for shopping.

I will make an exception if you want to go shop online. In fact, I encourage it, but only if the item you buy comes off the shelves in a real store.

Can you imagine some person who disrespected Resting Friday and hit the store before the sun came up watching a clerk remove something they wanted because someone sitting at home in their sweats bought it off the Internet?

Some of you might thing I’m mean-spirited. Well, I am a little.

Each year, this feeling grows a little bit more. Christmas decorations show up in the stores around Halloween. Holiday songs hit the radio airwaves before Thanksgiving.

Enough is enough.

I love the holiday season, but that doesn’t mean I have to make it any longer than it should be. I’m fine with having the Christmas spirit between late November and December 25.

So as you head out to the stores on Saturday, here’s a few ideas for that regular guy in your life:

• I saw a new version of skeeball in some catalog recently, but if you really want to make your guy happy, hop on eBay and get him the real thing for the basement. And if you’re going to get skeeball, you might as well get a claw machine too. They have a miniature one available online, but the full sized one can’t be beat. And fill it with beer and snacks. You won’t regret it.
• The kids lined up for PlayStation3 this week, camping out in front of stores to get the new system. A regular guy doesn’t need the newest system, so get him a PS2 on the cheap with a new sports game. He’ll love you for it. He may stare catatonically at the TV set for the rest of his life (especially if you buy him a new high-definition TV too), but he’ll love you for it.
• When all else fails, take him out for a dinner with beer. You don’t need to shop in November for that.