Fit to be Tied
I went to work one day a few weeks ago in a Maria-approved outfit. I don’t always have my wife sign off on what I wear, but this particular shirt and tie combination worried me the first time I wore it, so I got her OK.
I had worn the same thing a bunch of other times without incident, but I happened to see some female co-workers at lunch. Let’s just say they found my attire less than acceptable.
“What are you wearing? Did your wife see you before you left the house?”
I felt bad when I told them my stylish wife did indeed know that I went out into public looking like that. They said something about too many stripes and colors, and I went on my way. I haven’t even thought of putting that shirt and that tie together again even though I think they look pretty swell together.
All this just proves that I still have no clue of what looks good together when I get dressed. I blame the nuns.
From kindergarten through eighth grade, I didn’t have a choice at what I wore to school. Well, I did as I approached junior high when my school relaxed the dress code and let us choose a white turtleneck instead of a white shirt and maroon tie during the winter months.
Ah, freedom.
Things only got a little better in high school. We had to wear a jacket and tie so I had plenty of opportunity to either screw up or learn how to look fashionable. I don’t remember doing either. Most of my energy went to finding ways I could avoid wearing my suit coat as much as possible.
All of those fashion issues took place during the 1980s so I don’t know whether it was a good thing that I didn’t have much choice in what I wore. I still do have a “preppy” look, but don’t know how to make that fit into current fashion trends. I am, however, smart enough never to pop my collar.
Since I have spent much of the last 34 years wearing a tie, you would think that I might have picked up a tip or two about how to pick ones that go well with certain shirts and how to make that decision work with a pair of pants.
I think I get it right sometimes and usually do have Maria give me a once-over before I head out in anything I’m not to sure about. But then my friends went all Simon Cowell on me, and I’m feeling a little gun shy.
This is why I change pretty much the minute I come home from work. I have grown to feel comfortable in my work clothes, but know when the time has come to just throw on a pair of sweat pants or even my pajamas right after dinner.
Around the house, we cal it quitting or retiring early. I only wish I had that option the day I wore that shirt and tie together.
I would have been much more productive that day in my PJs.
Dave Lifton
March 9, 2008It doesn’t help that you’re ugly, too.
brian
March 9, 2008Women in their 20s were talking to me. I’ll count that as a positive.
brian
March 10, 2008Hi, pookie! I missed you too.
Jennylynn
March 10, 2008at least you have friends that tell you the TRUTH! lol you make me laugh….
Laura
March 10, 2008Women in their 20’s…. lol. Look I am not going to let one of my co-workers walk around like a fashion victim! Well Tony I would…. hello Orange shirt?! Can we say pumpkin!
Tony
March 10, 2008Hey it makes for a good costume for Halloween!
Ashley
March 11, 2008Listen, that shirt and tie together matched in color, but with all those lines going in different directions it was like looking at one of those seeing eye books where somewhere in there you’re supposed to find a picture. And if you want to wear sweats… come work with us!
brian
March 11, 2008I will think of all of you every time I put on clothes.
Wait, that came out wrong.
Will
March 11, 2008No wonder it came out wrong.
Anytime electrons flow in your brain (not that that happens so often anyway), it comes out wrong.
brian
March 11, 2008Oh, Will.
One of these days, you will be well schooled in the art of the joke. I suggest you check out a web site called MLS Rumors. That’s the biggest joke I have ever seen.