Back in 1986, I returned home from working on a Friday night in the spring to news I had hoped I wouldn’t get. My first-choice college, William and Mary, had put me on the waiting list for the fall semester. I knew getting in there was not a slam-dunk, but I hoped to sneak on in. So I was bummed.

I couldn’t wait to see if I would make it in so set my mind to attending Allegheny College in western Pennsylvania. I liked the place, but it wasn’t W&M, which I fell in love with several years earlier when my brother attended there.

The next day at work, a friend said something I will always remember. She told me the news from Williamsburg would be the best thing to ever happen to me. She said the smaller student body would give me a better chance to reach my potential. She said she knew I belonged at a school like Allegheny.

I wish I hadn’t lost touch with her because she was right. With all due respect to my wife, daughter and family, the four years of college were the best of my life. I discovered so much about myself. I also learned how to interact with so many different kinds of people in so many different situations. Allegheny taught me to succeed in life.

I bring all of this up because of a recent column from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette about a report released by Daniel Shea (no relation), a faculty member at Allegheny. In short, the report says that the things which pervade American politics the most are the things people like the least. We desperately crave for more civil discussion even though we seem to support people who can’t say anything nice about people with any ideas different than our own.

Passionate, respectful politics is not an oxymoron. Unfortunately, we found strong evidence that most Americans believe the tone of politics has declined in recent years. Things have gotten bad.

It’s sad we need a report to uncover this information. It’s obvious that the notion of a gray area simply escapes far too many people. Nuance is a lost art. Far too many issues turn into a contest for who is more outraged than an opportunity to discuss and debate.

I don’t know if I have the answers. I guess part of me is just proud that the things I learned in college were not just an accident. Allegheny really does represent the notion that we can be thoughtful, engaged, respectful people. I just wish spreading this to the rest of America was as easy as writing a report about it.