I had lunch with several people from work last week, and we discussed our plans for the upcoming weekend. One friend shared what she had on tap, and I almost lost my mind.

At first, I felt angry. Then I worried for her sanity. I finally settled on a healthy case of arrogance as I realized that she would not have any fun in the end.

I don’t know why I get so worked up when I hear people want to go see the new version of “The Karate Kid.”

When I first saw the trailer for the film, which is doing quite well despite my objections, my heart sank. I hadn’t seen any of the stories leading up to the film so I had no idea they planned to mess with a classic that way.

I completely understand that Hollywood hasn’t had an original idea in a long, long time. I can live with movies based on TV shows and action films which take the plot from some other action film, just with enough changes to warrant a new name.

So why couldn’t the people who made this movie do the same thing? Why couldn’t they make a movie about a kid who felt out of place, was picked on, learned a martial art and won redemption and called it something else?

Maybe “The Kung Fu Kid” would have been a better title since the movie revolves around a kid who learns kung fu. That’s right. In case you hadn’t paid attention, there is any karate in this film.

This is why I get upset about things like this. There is a movie called “The Karate Kid” out there with no karate in it. What makes it worse is that the movie is called “The Kung Fu Kid” in China. Have we lost all of our self-respect?

There are toys in “Toy Story 3.” Someone plays Robin Hood in the movie of the same name. “The Karate Kid” should have at least a little karate.

So instead of changing up the title because they chose to set the movie in a country where they practice kung fu, not karate, we get Jackie Chan treading upon Pat Morita’s outstanding performance in the original film.

Everyone remembers wax on, wax off. The four tasks that Daniel-san had to complete really formed the emotional core of the original movie as well as providing for some catch phrases.

So instead of giving the new teacher his own special way of teaching kung fu, they do the same thing with different tasks. I wonder how many thing they had to go through to try and find ones they could actually use to teach fighting.

I’ll never know what they settled on besides what I have seen in the trailer. There is no way I will ever watch this movie. I just can’t watch them sully the legacy of a classic movie.

I’m afraid if I do watch it, I’ll see the Chinese coach tell the villain to sweep the leg or hear one of his teammates yell, in Chinese, “get him a body bag.”

I don’t think I could rebound from that so I’ll just pretend all this never happened.