Generally, I embrace change. I feel like some situations cause me to rise to the challenge and make me a better person.

However, getting a new toaster might not be one of those times.

We needed to make this change. I will 100 percent concede that. But I might have more than a few issues with the adjustment.

First of all, Maria bought a stainless steel toaster. She used a gift card she received for Christmas so I really get no say in this part of the matter.

I just know that I will manage to sully the shiny surface with fingerprints without even touching it. i have that kind of effect on things. She has put up with my general untidiness for more than two decades. Will this be the breaking point?

I exaggerate, but it will cause me stress, especially when I will do my best to clean the thing, but not do it as well as she would.

Beyond the whole “it has to stay shiny” thing (which I support), there is the whole matter of learning just what the number settings mean.

Sure, the manual defines what setting to choose for light, medium or dark, but what standard is the person who wrote those directions using?

We did do a test with a frozen English muffin and determined that it needed about three and a half minutes somewhere between 3.5 and 4.5. But I put toast on 2.5 the next day, and it only toasted for less than 2 minutes, barely reaching “light” status.

This is important stuff, people. So please show us some grace as we navigate this important challenge. Just don’t leave any fingerprints.