When I first saw the shoes, I knew I needed to have them, even for a joke. You never know what you will find when the Clark’s store has its warehouse sale. I hit the jackpot this time.

Since I have small feet, the semiannual event can really help me out. I can find a good selection at a really good price. I went in this spring with a few things in mind, but never expected to see this pair of shoes, much less walk out with a pair all of my own.

You see, I don’t have the greatest fashion sense. I have probably covered this in the past, but I’m pretty basic when it comes to clothes. I don’t do “outfits” and stick with a few basic color combinations so that I don’t embarrass myself.

If I don’t go out on a limb, I won’t look like a fool. I can still pull off a pair of madras shorts (or at least I think I can), but I have enough sense now to make sure I own a plain shirt in a coordinating color. When in doubt, I just let my wife decide.

That’s why I worried she would put the kibosh on these shoes. Never in a million years did I think that Maria would encourage me to buy a pair of white suede bucks. But she did, so I decided to get them.

This is what can happen when I see a good sale. Usually I make decisions like this on electronics or some knick knack I think will look good in my man cave (but will never get hung up or installed because I’m just plain old lazy). I don’t impulse buy fashion.

I waited close to a week before I actually bought the shoes for a variety of reasons. First off, the place was a zoo on the day I saw them. Secondly, waiting a week to buy a pair of shoes which don’t fit into my usual wardrobe choices pretty much qualifies as an impulse buy in my book.

I also needed time to run things by some of my friends. I trust my wife’s opinion implicitly – she also agreed that the shoes would work well even as a gag – but I have some male friends who really follow fashion trends. They probably see white bucks as an essential item, not a bargain buy for kicks.

A lot of times, I wonder how we remain friends, especially after an intense discussion recently about packing – they think I pack too little, I think they go way overboard. But they really came in handy as I groped my way through the darkness of fashion-forward thinking.

Once I heard some ideas from them about how to work the bucks into my wardrobe, I really knew I had to get them. I might not even to get a pair of white pants to go with them, although I’m not too thrilled at the prospect of buying a white belt before I qualify for AARP membership.

Now all I need is to find a croquet party or garden brunch to attend.