Not all sweatpants are created the same.

I have come to understand this truism over the past six months or so. Blame the pandemic.

I appreciated sweatpants long before COVID-19 appeared. But the way I lived my life – constantly running from activity to activity – meant that I did not get to wear them as much as I wanted.

And even when we found ourselves isolated at home, I probably wore them less than other people. I can only blame myself for that.

I feel like I need to put what we call “hard pants” on in the morning before I start working. I really had trouble motivating myself without getting dressed up at least a little bit. That meant I didn’t change into sweats until the evening usually.

But I found myself unhappy with my sweatpants situation as we approached cold weather late last year. So I invested in a few more pairs. This is where the inequality of sweatpants comes into play.

I generally rotate through four pairs of sweatpants (with some pajama bottoms occasionally thrown in on weekends when hard pants just aren’t going to happen). And I have even started changing out of my jeans around lunch to rock sweats for the rest of the day.

There is clearly a pecking order to these pants. At the top are the two pairs that are a little thinner fabric-wise. The other two pairs rank lower even though they keep me warmer. Again, I can only blame myself for this.

One pair – which I actually bought at the very beginning of the pandemic – suffers from a fatal flaw. They have no pockets. I can’t understand how anyone lets this happen in the manufacturing process. Who makes sweatpants without pockets? I still try to slide my phone into a pocket when I wear them.

When I bought another pair of thick sweats late last year, I checked very carefully to make sure that they had pockets. They do and are very comfortable. I missed one other thing though. The drawstring has these metal tips that clink around whenever you walk.

I probably like those sweatpants the most, bt I like wearing them the least. So the thin sweatpants win out for now as I remind myself to check for yet another thing in the product description in my search for the perfect pair of sweatpants.