Last time I went to Vegas, I didn’t see any shows. I wanted to make sure I at least saw something this time. As I planned my trip, I kept checking the comedy clubs to see if anyone I knew would be in town.

A few days before I left, I hit the jackpot. Bobby Collins, one of my favorites from XM, would start at the Improv at Harrah’s on my last night in town. Perfect timing.

Even though I waited until late in the afternoon on the day of the show, I got a pretty good seat. Tickets only ran 30-some bucks so I thought I made out pretty good.

When I went to head to my seat, I saw a sign which said no outside drinks allowed. That kind of confused me and pissed me off since I had just sat patiently at a slot machine, playing as little as possible until I could get a free beer from a cocktail waitress. I also had a bottle of water since it was July in Las Vegas.

The really, really old guy at the door saw me stop and told me not to worry about it and signaled me to come in any way. I thanked him and he noted my two drinks.

“You’re greedy,” he said.

“Nah, I’m just thirsty,” I said with a laugh, figuring a joke wouldn’t hurt in a comedy club.

“No, you are greedy. Come with me,” he said stone-faced. I assumed he wasn’t performing that night.

They advertised three comedians, but the first one didn’t perform for some reason. I didn’t really mind because the opener – Lowell Sanders– was pretty funny. He also came close to starting a riot.

A couple walked in about five to 10 minutes late. As they approached their seats, he greeted them.

“Hey, how you guys doing? Glad you could make it. Good to see you. Have a seat. Get comfortable. Do you need anything? (pause) Like a fucking watch?”

The guy in the couple cracked up. The woman didn’t find any humor in the joke. She turned into something out of Jerry Springer yelling up at the stage, wagging her index finger. Lowell reminded her that no one could hear her because he had the microphone … and because we were all cracking up. Then, he pointed out something which was announced to the entire audience before the show, something she obviously missed.

This was a comedy club. He was there to tell jokes so she needed to lighten up.

I had never heard of Lowell Sanders, but I will keep an eye out for him on XM in the future I also liked the fact that the other comedian wasn’t there because it gave Lowell longer and led us right into Bobby’s set.

Bobby pretty much admitted that he was there to work on new material because he said he forgot his notes, which I don’t think a guy like Bobby Collins needs unless he’s testing new material. This made his set a little uneven, but still pretty damn funny. He really swung and missed on his political stuff, but his observational bits still kill me.

That was about it for my entertainment on the trip. I didn’t even get to see the Bellagio fountains. I wasn’t over there at night and, when I thought about it, I just didn’t feel like walking over there.

I did catch them feeding the lions at the MGM Grand, which I hadn’t seen before. That was pretty cool. I also got a chuckle (again) out of the Dealertainers at Imperial Palace. They actually have one who looks a lot like the person they are impersonating – Billy Idol. And the Stevie Wonder and Billy Joel guys sang on their own. Not bad for a free show at the IP.