Sometimes, I have very complex philosophical views, especially when it comes to technology and business. You could say I’m almost the opposite of Amish.

You see, I think we have been given the kind of knowledge and imagination that we possess as a species in order to stretch the limits of what we can do. I think coming up with new ideas and products helps fulfill our purpose.

But once in a while, something comes along to make me wonder why we have this capability. This happens when I see something that just makes me shake my head and wonder if we’d be better off as primates.

Sadly, I had this feeling twice within a week recently.

The first time, I was only half paying attention to the TV. I had to ask my wife what I missed after I heard the possible side effects of whatever they were talking about.

Apparently, Brooke Shields endorses some beauty product called Latisse. This stuff has the potential, apparently, to really mess up your eyes if things don’t go right. But if it works, watch out, because it can help your eye lashes grow.

Yes, it’s Rogaine for eye lashes. You know, the one part of the body that men are so fixated on that women should risk eye damage to make sure they are of the appropriate length.

I can’t tell you how many times I have noticed a woman, only to turn away in disgust because she had really short eyelashes. Conversely, I have been busted so many times staring at a women’s eyelashes. It’s really embarrassing.

While I find the whole idea kind of silly, I can understand vanity in adults. I hate it when kids get dragged into it. That’s when we get things like denim diapers.

Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up. It’s a sad thing when you can’t tell if you’re watching a real commercial or some Saturday Night Live parody.

The whole concept boggles my mind so much, I can’t even get worked up over the questionable commercial that turns the baby in the blue jean diaper into some sort of sex symbol.

The ad is a kind of funny parody of so many fashion conscious commercials, but the joke doesn’t quite work because they are trying to act like it’s normal for parents to put a denim diaper on a kid. They try to work in some poop jokes for the immature audience – that would be people like me – but it just doesn’t work, again because there’s a denim diaper involved.

Listen, I like a pair of jeans as much as the next guy, but I’m worried when a business meeting about the possibility of a denim diaper doesn’t end with the phrase, “Are you kidding me? That’s stupid. This meeting is over!”

But I guess this is all part of the whole concept of stretching our brains out as much as we can. Sometimes when you stretch your muscles, you injure yourself. I just wonder if there’s any way to recover from an injury caused by eyelash growth and denim diapers. I guess this is something the Amish don’t have to worry about it.