Help Me Sleep

I love sleep. Nothing feels better than curling up in a warm bed and drifting off. But something has changed about sleep as I get older. I generally wake up four or five times a night. I glance at the clock, figure out how much longer I have until I need to wake up, then […]

Basement Envy

I took my daughter over to a friend’s house the other day for a “play day.” We can’t say “playdate” in our house. Bridget had decided that the proper term is “play day” and doesn’t like when someone says “playdate.” That’s fine with me because I think the term is overused. But that’s not the […]

Living Forever Not Such a Good Idea

I recently read a story about some inventor who has taken drastic steps to try and live forever. He takes 250 supplements every day. He drinks 8 to 10 glasses of water each day and just as many cups of green tea. He does batteries of tests to check how he is doing and makes […]

The 2005 Brians

I really like the fact that so much controversy surrounds Chris Rock hosting tonight’s Academy Awards ceremony. While people gossip over whether the comedian respects the Oscars, the Brians have had the opportunity to sail under the radar. Yes, it’s that time of year again when I give away awards for the best in film […]

I Know Art and This Isn’t Him

I have never visited Central Park in New York. But if I ever had, I don’t think I would look up the sky and think, “They should put some sheets up there.” Yet that’s exactly what performance “artists” Christo and Jeanne-Claude have done. Their “exhibit “Gates” opened this week and a million bored people have […]

Wedgies for Peace

As Americans, we owe a great debt to our heroes. I’m not talking about soldiers and sailors, but the real heroes that protect us from harm within our borders. State legislators. We have a new hero in Virginia by the name of Algie T. Howell Jr. Besides surviving numerous beatings as a teenager for the […]

Bobsled Dreams

I have looked back at my past few columns and noticed a disturbing trend. I have seemed angry at something – the thermostat, American Idol, people driving in the snow. I don’t like being angry. Maybe the weather has me down. Maybe the fact that the Game Show Network hasn’t shown “Kenny vs. Spenny” in […]

Snow Sissies

When I looked out the window at the snow last week, one thought went through my mind. “What is wrong with you people?” Not you. Well, unless you’re someone who runs to the store in a panic, can’t drive in the snow and can do nothing but complain about the crews trying to clear the […]

Battle Royale

My wife and I have had an ongoing fight all winter. Don’t worry, this fight won’t involve the police or restraining orders or anyone throwing anything. Well, that is unless I throw some of my belongings on a fire in the middle of the living room. We’re fighting over control of the thermostat.

No More “American Idol”

Later this week, millions of Americans will lose a few hours of their life forever. I wish I could stop it, but they don’t know any better. They will watch “American Idol.” I honestly don’t understand why this phenomenon has continued so long. What tragedy has forced us to resort to a karaoke contest to […]