Fit to be Tied

I went to work one day a few weeks ago in a Maria-approved outfit. I don’t always have my wife sign off on what I wear, but this particular shirt and tie combination worried me the first time I wore it, so I got her OK.

I had worn the same thing a bunch of other times without incident, but I happened to see some female co-workers at lunch. Let’s just say they found my attire less than acceptable.

“What are you wearing? Did your wife see you before you left the house?”

I felt bad when I told them my stylish wife did indeed know that I went out into public looking like that. They said something about too many stripes and colors, and I went on my way. I haven’t even thought of putting that shirt and that tie together again even though I think they look pretty swell together.

All this just proves that I still have no clue of what looks good together when I get dressed. I blame the nuns.

From kindergarten through eighth grade, I didn’t have a choice at what I wore to school. Well, I did as I approached junior high when my school relaxed the dress code and let us choose a white turtleneck instead of a white shirt and maroon tie during the winter months.

Ah, freedom.

Things only got a little better in high school. We had to wear a jacket and tie so I had plenty of opportunity to either screw up or learn how to look fashionable. I don’t remember doing either. Most of my energy went to finding ways I could avoid wearing my suit coat as much as possible.

All of those fashion issues took place during the 1980s so I don’t know whether it was a good thing that I didn’t have much choice in what I wore. I still do have a “preppy” look, but don’t know how to make that fit into current fashion trends. I am, however, smart enough never to pop my collar.

Since I have spent much of the last 34 years wearing a tie, you would think that I might have picked up a tip or two about how to pick ones that go well with certain shirts and how to make that decision work with a pair of pants.

I think I get it right sometimes and usually do have Maria give me a once-over before I head out in anything I’m not to sure about. But then my friends went all Simon Cowell on me, and I’m feeling a little gun shy.

This is why I change pretty much the minute I come home from work. I have grown to feel comfortable in my work clothes, but know when the time has come to just throw on a pair of sweat pants or even my pajamas right after dinner.

Around the house, we cal it quitting or retiring early. I only wish I had that option the day I wore that shirt and tie together.

I would have been much more productive that day in my PJs.

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